It really kinda bothers me how giving birth is probably the times I've been the proudest of myself, felt like I could conquer anything and yet I can't properly recall those feelings. I can't quite remember. It's like seeing a picture of yourself as a child somewhere and although you sort of recall that moment, you can't exactly remember what you did before or after that photo was taken- in which case, perhaps you only remember looking at that picture.
In some ways it's the greatest gift God gave women- that they forget the pain of childbirth (although I think I can remember some of that). But for me, it's a shame that I have to forget all the good that came after it. Sure, I have memories, I'm not saying I was unconscious or something during the entire ordeal, I'm just saying that there are a lot of details that are not with me anymore. Although, I suppose it's the same way with a lot of things too. I look at pictures of Addie when she was a baby and for the life of me can't picture me holding newborn her anymore. I've got some memories and feelings there, but if I had to describe to you the way she behaved at say, 3 months, I couldn't do it.
"That's the beauty of taking video vs. pictures", Jared keeps reminding me- and he's very right. But I hope that after we die and live in Heaven, there is a way for our bodies to recall all the wonderful experiences that our earthly bodies have forgotten. I know there are so many I've lost!
Adelyn above, Dallin below